Hermitage and Snow in April
It's April 16th. There's at least a foot of snow on the ground. I feel as though something is not right with this picture. Today was an interesting. I slept in this morning and was running late. I had to clean 6 inches of snow off of my car every time I went out to go somewhere (about 5 times). I received a bit of the worst news ever.
But it wasn't a bad day. Just difficult.
This weekend I was having a strange sort of argument with myself. I graduated high school with the hopes of being finished with unnecessary drama, and this weekend was chalk full of it. By Sunday I basically wanted everyone to spontaneously combust and then grow back on banana trees in about a week as if nothing had happened, just so that I could get some alone time. I'm the youngest in our 5-person apartment, so I get the double room. I love my roommate, but I'm never without people. Ever.
There's a part of me that just wants to get an apartment myself that's simply mine, that I don't have to share. Sooner or later I'll have to experience living alone, and some days I feel like I'm ready for it. The problem comes, however, in realizing that I am, in fact, a broke college student and really can't afford to move off-campus. (Then again I can't really afford to be living on campus either.) I also realized later in the weekend that I'd be responsible for cleaning the whole apartment myself, and as busy as I am currently with my double majors that could be a problem.
But it sort of comes down to this: I'm single and dating myself, so I'm ready to move in with me. The problem is that I probably can't afford myself. Oh, conundrum.
Outside of all of that, today the final decision was made and I won't be able to get off of work during the summer to be a Band Camp counselor. Band Geek, you say? Yes. In high school band was one constant I could always rely on: A family outside of my family that peaked on that one precious week in July. This year would have been my 8th year at Band Camp. Saying goodbye to that is losing something symbolic of all the ways that I've grown. It's the end of something that has always been a part of me that I'm just not quite ready to give up. It's letting go of something that has been a part of me for 8 years.
I suppose that's the price of loving people: In this case every member of the band, both faculty and student, who've helped to shape me in some way. Not being at Band Camp is leaving behind all of the people who became a second family to me.
This is the part of growing up that I don't like so much: Cutting the rope to the boat that carried you across the river and having to stand and watch it drift away, disappearing into the sunset, wondering if the tide will ever bring your boat back to you when you need it again.
But it wasn't a bad day. Just difficult.
This weekend I was having a strange sort of argument with myself. I graduated high school with the hopes of being finished with unnecessary drama, and this weekend was chalk full of it. By Sunday I basically wanted everyone to spontaneously combust and then grow back on banana trees in about a week as if nothing had happened, just so that I could get some alone time. I'm the youngest in our 5-person apartment, so I get the double room. I love my roommate, but I'm never without people. Ever.
There's a part of me that just wants to get an apartment myself that's simply mine, that I don't have to share. Sooner or later I'll have to experience living alone, and some days I feel like I'm ready for it. The problem comes, however, in realizing that I am, in fact, a broke college student and really can't afford to move off-campus. (Then again I can't really afford to be living on campus either.) I also realized later in the weekend that I'd be responsible for cleaning the whole apartment myself, and as busy as I am currently with my double majors that could be a problem.
But it sort of comes down to this: I'm single and dating myself, so I'm ready to move in with me. The problem is that I probably can't afford myself. Oh, conundrum.
Outside of all of that, today the final decision was made and I won't be able to get off of work during the summer to be a Band Camp counselor. Band Geek, you say? Yes. In high school band was one constant I could always rely on: A family outside of my family that peaked on that one precious week in July. This year would have been my 8th year at Band Camp. Saying goodbye to that is losing something symbolic of all the ways that I've grown. It's the end of something that has always been a part of me that I'm just not quite ready to give up. It's letting go of something that has been a part of me for 8 years.
I suppose that's the price of loving people: In this case every member of the band, both faculty and student, who've helped to shape me in some way. Not being at Band Camp is leaving behind all of the people who became a second family to me.
This is the part of growing up that I don't like so much: Cutting the rope to the boat that carried you across the river and having to stand and watch it drift away, disappearing into the sunset, wondering if the tide will ever bring your boat back to you when you need it again.
posted by ~Nightinga£e~ | 12:05 AM
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