So I was sitting here comteplating life and, gazing through photographs and sifting through clips of "homemade movies", I realized that there have been quite a few people in my life who mean more to me than I thought they did. So I'm going to take this time now to send out kudos to each and every one of them (in no particular order).
**Warning**
This is not for the faint of heart. This is going to be a seriously long blog. If you don't like to read, walk away while you still have the chance. If you're curious to see if you're in it... May the force be with you.
My Immediate Family: Kudos to you! Sorry! I'm "clumping" you, otherwise I'd be here FOREVER!! You're my family, so it shouldn't be a surprise that y'all get kudos. I don't have to pull out all the mushy details. All for one and one for all. That's us. (At least it should be. ^_~)
'Chole: Kudos to you! God, where do I begin? Who would have thought this friendship would have formed the day you said, "Get off my sidewalk!!"? There's so much I could say to you that I don't even know what to say. I swear that you're the sister I never had and I don't know WHAT I'd be like if you weren't ever around. I swear I think you're the only person I can really be myself around. In some way, you and I have become different parts of the same person, and I think that rocks. From the first to the last, in this race we call life I better see you at the finish line! ^_~ Keep an eye on poopy-butt while I'm not around.
Chris: Kudos to you! It's been six years since I've seen your face. You're probably the first boy I ever loved (with whatever concept of love I had at the time), and I don't think I'll ever in my life be able to let go of the memory of you, even though I know in my heart you've forgotten me. You taught me a great lesson about losing someone close to you, and I won't ever forget the great friendship we had way back when. I can't imagine that you're the same person you once were, but I'll always remember the Chris Kindle who I went swimming with almost every day of those two wonderful summers, who I rode bikes with like it was going out of style, and who I could talk to about anything on that swing that was then in my front yard, milling the day away with stories and jokes. I'll always remember how you popped the back tire of your bike by running over a sewer grate on the way to watch me play softball and we had to walk the rest of the way to the diamond together. I'll always remember the radio you had clipped to your bike, constantly blaring that Backstreet Boys tape, singing along with "I Want it That Way". (Btw, I'll never be able to hear that song without thinking of you.) You were the first boy to stand me up and you were the first boy who ever really liked me back as more than a friend, even though you were too scared to tell me. You'll be with me forever in my dreams, where I can visit that time when the two of us were young and innocent, and we'll swing together in the park as if we never said goodbye. I hope your life is good, and I wish the best for you and whatever endeavors you take on.
Kyle: Kudos to you! Boy, did we have fun. You were always that little tag-along that always seemed to be there when I turned around. You had this way of making me feel special when no one else could. I really believe that we had something, but we were both to young to see it for what it could have been. I'll never EVER forget July 4th, 2001. The best yet, I think you know to what I'm referring. So many things of summer will make me think of you. You played a part in the shaping of me, in your quirky little way, and I only regret that we couldn't be better friends in the long run. To life and happiness, may you be blessed with that which you deserve. You chased my car through the rain to catch me, and for that I will forever pray that your children don't have "poo-colored" eyes. ^_~ I have to admit, you're the only friend I've seriously watched Jeopardy with, even though we talked through pratically all of it, and I'll always think of you when I swing on those swings in stadium park. Keep it real, Ingle-DON'T. ^_~
Mrs. Dew: Kudos to you! You made me who I am today, with my great love of writing. You should see the other students. They know better than to talk ill about you when I'm around, though I never understood how they could. *Shrugs* You've been with me through the soap opera I call "Life" since seventh grade and never gave up on me. You were always the ear that listened to me when I had too much to say and you were always the spicket of good advice I could turn on whenever I needed some help. I'll never lose touch with you, I swear, because you are probably the most radiant woman I have ever met. I still think of you everytime I read the Sevenwaters Trilogy and try to picture Liaden in my head. I could go on forever and never find the right words to say to you. By far, you receive the ultimate kudos. You were my teacher, my mentor, and sometimes a lot like a friend, and since I'm no longer a student I can say that without anyone getting in trouble. ^_~ I hope your Power of the Pen teams go to state from here on out, even though I can't be around to enjoy it with you. You let me know the day the next Heather comes through. I'd really enjoy meeting her. ^_^ May your life be blessed and smile because when time stands still and your days here are done, your soul is going to live forever through all of the people you've touched with your radiance. (And trust me, I'll bet there's a lot of them.)
Miranda: Kudos to you! There may be some who tell me you shouldn't be in this blog, and you might hate me for putting you here, but we were friends once, the best of. We were with each other through so much for the earlier parts of our lives and I'll be forever sorry for driving you away, but, in a way, I guess it was coming. We were turning different directions on our journeys, and our paths just split. I can't overlook the many years we had together. I can't erase the memories, or pretend that I never shared anything with you. We ran the bases in the rain at band camp. You'll be forever imprinted upon my soul. I always looked up to you, with your many talents and love of life. Everyone liked you because to them it seemed as though you liked yourself, and maybe after we stopped being friends you began to. Secrets shared behind closed doors in the middle of the night when the world is asleep, tapes of a non-existent radio show on which the two of us were DJs, and The Mothman Prophecies: These are all wonderful things I'll remember when I think of you. You once told me that my problem was that I hold on to all the bad things that happen to me in my life and overlook the good. I'll think of these things and, although a tear will spring to my eye, I'll smile because they were, indeed, good.
Teppy: Kudos to you! I don't think I even have to give a reason. You are just... Beautiful. You're not perfect, but you're certainly someone who deserves all the happiness she can get. You've had it rough, but you've stuck around this long, and you've taught me a little bit about friendship. It comes in all ages and sizes (sorry, couldn't resist), and it sticks with you no matter how far away you go. I remember holding your hand one night until it became early in the morning and watched you cry, biting back tears myself. Ever since then, I think I've had this bond with you that, while you and I may not be like Nikki and I are, it's gonna be there until both of us are dead. I'd give up all my CHANCES at happiness to see you smile, and never find someone I could enjoy a taco pizza and good conversation with as much as I enjoy bonding in that way with you. I don't have to hide my insecurities from you, because you'll always be there to help me get over them. From now til forever... I mean, the Lemur King said it best: "What is a bite on the buttocks amongst friends? Here, give me a nibble!" (Shut up, Spalding!)
Clarissa: Kudos to you! You are the sister of my soul and the song in my heart! You better never let me catch you talking bad about your own voice again. It's gorgeous. You just have to believe it yourself. You are a beautiful girl, Clarissa, and I'll smile the day you realize that. I see so much of myself in you... I want you to be happy. To have what I didn't. Never in my life will I forget you or your siblings. (Ask Aaron when he's moving in with me! ^_~) When I'm with your family, I feel as though I'm part of your family. You've got a pretty good one, Clarissa. No families are perfect. If all else fails, you'll always have me as family. ^_^ We are one in the same, and I'll always be here for you when you need me. Btw, Damascus wants me to tell you to tell Kajin that he misses her. ^_~
Tina: Kudos to you! Is it "Ti-Marie" now? I can NEVER keep up with your nicknames! God, woman, you move a mile a minute! ^_~ There are so many great times with you. You know what I'll say, so I'm just going to keep it to myself, but don't ever think you're anything less than fabulous. Because you are fabulous. ABSOLUTELY fabulous, at that. You've got the world waiting for you to grab ahold of it, you just gotta reach for it. Lylas. Always have, always will.
Amanda: Kudos to you! I can't forget you, even though we only bonded a few times. It took me a long time to realize how very great you were, and I think that kinda sucks. You will forever and always be the ultimate in Pow-Wow leaders, and I'd be happy to lead a Pow-Wow alongside you anyday. I wish the best to you. You wrote me a poem that, believe it or not, helped me believe in myself a little bit more, which I never thought could happen. Thank you for that.
Craig Miller: Kudos to you! Augh!! I love you love you love you! You are just awesome. You're probably the nicest guy I have ever met. I don't think it's possible for you to be mean! I've seen you angry once, but you have to admit, that was hilarious! Come on, marshmallows on hamburgers? There are worse things in life. I'm not even going to say anymore. I don't need a reason to give you kudos. I remember sophomore year asking you if you'd run away with me and get married. Lol. I loved how we could always joke around like that. You're the only guy I could ever really do that with.
Jarrod: Kudos to you! If I ever need a pep talk, I know who to go to. How in the WORLD did you get so wise?? You astound me, JH. And you better hold on to Kate! You two are the best in all the world.
Ricky: Kudos to you! Yay! Concrete soccer-induced bloody knees!! Good times, good times. You just rock out loud, Rick. You got me over to your house to play basketball. Basketball! which I totally suck at! And who can forget the pick-up soccer game? It's hard to explain how you mean a lot to me without it sounding wierd. You're just awesome. I'd be happy to help you through your rough times any day. I'll never forget how you claim I made you cry by being so nice to you. I guess sometimes I do things right. Every once in awhile, you know. Anyway, there's only one thing I can say: "What are you smiling about??!!"
Kurtis: Kudos to you! Ashy... Weenie. The one and only. You love me. You know it. I rock your world. ^_~ I'm sorry that General Have-No-Care won't be around to help you this year. When in doubt, just remember what I always end up telling you: "Get over it!" You know I'm right about some things, and you know I'll always be the one you talk to when you don't think you have anything to say. I'm glad I can be there for you. Someday you'll come to me without me having to weasel the information out of you, and I promise, one that day, I'll be around to hear what you have to say. You'll always be THE Weenie. Just remember who called you it first. ^_~ ("I bet it's The Mean Streak." .......... "...It's a choo-choo...")
Keithy: Kudos to you! Boy, you are weird, but you really made life interesting for me. I'll always hold you in my heart, but somedays I'll just look at you and think, "Good God! What is he on??!!" ^_~ You might look like you're twelve but you have the heart of an adult. Keep it real, Keithy.
Andrew: Kudos to you! And your family, little buddy! Wow! I don't even know if I can give you enough kudos. To your mother, who is so like me I'm sure I'll be turning to her for advice in the future, and your father, who is just the nicest man in the world. You really luck out in the parents department. To your sister, sweet and talented Chelsea. She's going places, you watch and see. But to you, My Andrew, who gave me a tape of the "Happy Song". I missed you at Disney, I really did, and I meant it when I said the band was a little less of what it normally was without you there. I often pull out the note you wrote me after your eigth grade retreat and I cry everytime I read it. You are so kind and so amazing that I don't think the world could ever treat you wrong, and if it does, it's picking a fight with me. You will always be my little buddy, the shining star that lights up the future. Never forget to smile.
Andith: Kudos to you! ANDITH!!!!!! Omg, you rock! I will never be able to remember every historical fact you've told me, but, my God, what a memory! Put you and Squeegee together and that's the end of it for me. Your stories will live on in my mind along with your smile, which I could always manage to draw out from you. One of these days, you'll go down in history, Andith. As will I, for getting Ms. Hare to call you "Andith" in class. ^_^
Squeegee: Kudos to you! Kyle, you're just amazing. You've been a great friend, and I would entrust my band boys to no one else. I wish you could see how far you're going to go in life like I can. You're going to change the world! (Or become the dictator of it, whichever comes first. ^_~) If you ever pine for a girl and she doesn't want you back, you point her out to me and I'll have my hitman take care of that. I remember you confided in me once about your life insecurities, and on that day I really felt closer to you as a friend. You are THE Captain Kyle, but you'll always be Squeegee in my eyes. You were mad at me once, and I hated it. I was scared... But, I still believe in your goodness, because you really are a great person.
Elliot: Kudos to you! The one true Ferret... Oh, God... Wanna know a secret? I'm gonna tell you how you sunk yourself with me in one very short sentence. Ready for it? You were nice to me. That's all there really is to it. You are the epitome of sarcastic negativity, but for about three wonderful months of marching band season, you were nice to me. Being with you made me feel really special, and I may never know why you treated me that way. That's what made me fall for you, Elliot. I saw this side of you that actually cared about ME, whom barely anyone cared about. For God's sake, you won me a stuffed animal! But always in my mind is going to be the one game where we premiered the Pirates of the Carribbean, and I was having a bad day and I was depressed beyond expression. On the field I missed a flip, and you noticed. No one ever notices ANYTHING about me, but you saw me mess up... Then, in a fit of unchecked depressed whatever, I told you how you never let me hug you. You did as I thought you would: Defended yourself, to be disproved by a tearful me, then said, "Oh" and went off to do your own thing, but when you came back, you looked at me, sitting there with tears in my eyes, and you held out your arms, YOU being the one to initiate a hug. I never know what to expect from you, because when I expect something, you always to the opposite. That night, Elliot, and what you did for me, is probably the SWEETEST thing that ANYONE has EVER done for me in my life. That's why you mean so much to me. You saw me when I even believe I wasn't there, invisible to everyone. You hugged me... Granted, shortly thereafter, after the marching band banquet, you started being a jerk to me, but still... I think of you, and all I can see is that Elliot who I talked to and joked with and, actually, even flirted with on occassion. You won me Fuzzwad at the school festival and you hugged me when the world couldn't see me. A long time later, when I called you in desperation, you didn't hang up. I called you believing I'd hear certain things that would make me feel worse about myself, but in turn help me accept them as truth, and you didn't say a single thing I thought you would. You said the exact opposite, so now I'll never really be able to fully not believe in myself, because I'll always remember what you said on the phone that night. I think I hurt you that night... I said a mean thing, but you were still there for me, in your Elliot-ish way. I'm sorry if I really did hurt you, even though I know you'd never admit that I did if it were true, and will probably brush my apology off as if it doesn't matter, it was mean of me. I guess it's time to let you go now, but you still hold a place in my memory. I'll never forget those three months that we had this strange bond of friendship that may never be able to be explained. *Nods* Kudos to you, Elliot. Kudos to you.
Isaac: Kudos to you! Ikey... Ike-man... I could never list all of the nicknames. Or the anorexic-bulimic jokes for that matter. (He eats nothing, then throws it back up! ^_~) Six years, Ikey. Six years. That seems so long. I've pratically watched you grow up, turn into this uber-saxophone God! You might hit some rough times, but I believe in you. I know what you can do, you just have to learn how to flex your wings. If you ever need me, you know where I am. Lemme know if you ever find your horny green Furby. ^_~
Dale: Kudos to you! From the beginning, to the end... Where is the end? I can't even tell at this moment in our lives. I've known you for the least amount of time than anyone else here, but you've impacted my life no less than the rest of them. You love me. I know you do. You might be the first one who ever really did... This is to our future, be it as friends or more. Time tells for us, Dale, but I know I wouldn't be the same without you.
This blog could go on forever, and I'm running out of time. Maybe I'll add to the list as time passes. As I sit here I can think of people who deserve to be there and aren't: Todd, Jamie, Eric, Laura, Nikki M., Curt, Alex... I have to stop myself. I just don't have enough time to list everyone... Someday I'll give you your deserved kudos. If you think you've won a spot in my heart, you probably have... I just don't have any words left inside of me...
Kudos. Kudos to you all.
