Beneath the Starlit Winter
I remember basketball games in Delphos. Since I was a member of the pep band, I've been to every home basketball game since I was in the 8th grade. Since I lived about a block away from my high school, I had to walk to each one. I remember when the games were over and I was walking home. It was cold, the chill of midwinter biting through my heavy coat, but I moved onward, my thoughts drifting through my mind and eager to be home.
I remember always looking up at the stars and admiring the glimmer of the snow surrounding me; The way it sparkled in the light of the streetlamps and the moon. I would think of it as I was walking across a bed of diamonds that were spread out as a rug just for me.
I would wander in this way, a feat that took about three to five minutes of my time, and upon arriving at the sidewalk in front of my house I would always stop. The road stretched on before me and to the left and the right. I would stand there in the dark and cold and wonder what would happen if I just kept walking.
You can only see so far off into the distance, and I would just sit and wonder what would happen if I continued on, one foot in front of the other, and went past where I could see in the distance. Looking left and right was the same. If I picked any direction to just start walking in, would I inevitably end up at happiness's doorstep?
After a few minutes of this pondering I always just ended up continuing up the sidewalk and to my front door, where I would bore myself to death for the rest of the night until I went to bed.
These moments, as I think back on them, strike me as being more than just a walk home from school. To make use of a hackneyed analogy, life is a lot like those walks home. As I was walking, I would always wish that someone new and exciting (namely a guy I had a crush on) would pass by and offer me a night of something to do with my time instead of be by myself.
Every day of my life I'm making that same journey from point A to point B and hoping the same thing, stopping at the same sidewalk in front of my home and wondering in the same way what would happen if I kept walking.
To continue down the road is taking a risk, because I don't know what's beyond the horizon. It's so tempting to be like I was when I would walk home from the basketball games and just go to my doorstep and wish away the evening. Especially when every other time I've tried wandering down the road farther I've fallen off the edge and had to climb back to level ground, ending up right where I started in the first place. So no matter which way I turn, as I stray from the safety of home, there's no bridge I can find that will lead me to my happiness and past where I can't see down the road anymore.
When the winter blankets the earth in its quilted cloak of snow, I find that after all this time I'm still just waiting for that one guy to pick me up and take me beyond the horizon.
I remember always looking up at the stars and admiring the glimmer of the snow surrounding me; The way it sparkled in the light of the streetlamps and the moon. I would think of it as I was walking across a bed of diamonds that were spread out as a rug just for me.
I would wander in this way, a feat that took about three to five minutes of my time, and upon arriving at the sidewalk in front of my house I would always stop. The road stretched on before me and to the left and the right. I would stand there in the dark and cold and wonder what would happen if I just kept walking.
You can only see so far off into the distance, and I would just sit and wonder what would happen if I continued on, one foot in front of the other, and went past where I could see in the distance. Looking left and right was the same. If I picked any direction to just start walking in, would I inevitably end up at happiness's doorstep?
After a few minutes of this pondering I always just ended up continuing up the sidewalk and to my front door, where I would bore myself to death for the rest of the night until I went to bed.
These moments, as I think back on them, strike me as being more than just a walk home from school. To make use of a hackneyed analogy, life is a lot like those walks home. As I was walking, I would always wish that someone new and exciting (namely a guy I had a crush on) would pass by and offer me a night of something to do with my time instead of be by myself.
Every day of my life I'm making that same journey from point A to point B and hoping the same thing, stopping at the same sidewalk in front of my home and wondering in the same way what would happen if I kept walking.
To continue down the road is taking a risk, because I don't know what's beyond the horizon. It's so tempting to be like I was when I would walk home from the basketball games and just go to my doorstep and wish away the evening. Especially when every other time I've tried wandering down the road farther I've fallen off the edge and had to climb back to level ground, ending up right where I started in the first place. So no matter which way I turn, as I stray from the safety of home, there's no bridge I can find that will lead me to my happiness and past where I can't see down the road anymore.
When the winter blankets the earth in its quilted cloak of snow, I find that after all this time I'm still just waiting for that one guy to pick me up and take me beyond the horizon.
posted by ~Nightinga£e~ | 9:01 PM
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