Random Thoughts of an Unchecked Mind

Monday, December 05, 2005

Untitled

Hold on just a little bit longer.
Push just a little bit farther.
Breath just a little bit deeper.
You've got to be just a little bit stronger.

Where've Ya Been?

"Hey! Where've ya been?"
"Busy, busy."
"Look, are we still..."
*Looks at him*
"I'll guess that's a 'yes.' I really wish we could work through this."
"There's nothing to work through. We all know where we stand. Problem solved, fight finished."
"No! We don't all know where we stand! I can't read you. You make it impossible!"
"Well, you should have figured that out earlier so you could just save yourself the mistake of being my friend."
*Clearly agitated* "You're completely aggravating!! I don't even know why I bother with you."
"Then don't." *Turns and begins walking away*
"Oh, stop it, Jules! You and your dramatics! Make a big scene, tell the world that you're a victim. Well, you know what? You're only ever going to be a victim if you don't turn things around. You think you're worthless because you believe you are and you're not!"
"Wrong! I'm worthless because of people like you, who tell me that I'm more than useless, but who's actions say that I'm on the absolute bottom of the priority list beneath everyone and everything else. You want my friendship? Then be my friend! Not just when I'm the only one around to hang out with because every other girl you know is busy. I understand that I can't always be first, but I shouldn't always be dead last!"
*Holding head in hands* "You know, I don't even know what to say to that."
"Surprise, surprise."
"I-... You- ... Argh!!! This is frustrating!"
*Turning suddenly* "Did you block me on your Buddy List?"
"What?"
"You're always always online, but now I never see you when you're mobile. Did you block me?"
*Overly defensive* "Don't be ridiculous."
"Look, if you don't like me talking to you, send me a message that says, 'Hey! I don't like you messaging me.' Don't put me on your block list! What a great way to make me feel even more terrible about myself!"
"Look, Jules, I-... It's not that it's just... I feel like your away messages are always personal attacks towards me and I got really sick of reading them."
"Then don't."
"It's not that easy. I worry about you."
"Why would I write about you in an away message when I can vent so poetically in my journal? I don't need my away message to tell you how you make me feel because as far as I knew I was being very good about telling you to your face."
"You're delusional!"
*Crosses arms and glares*
"God! I hate fighting you! Nothing makes me hurt worse than knowing you hate me."
"Yeah? Well you fucked me over. I could never ever hate you, but if that's how you feel, I guess that makes us square."