Someone Like You
Have you ever watched a movie and, as it played out to the end, you realized that the main character is an almost exact portrayal of the way that you are currently?
I was having a conversation with my friend Brendon today and we began to discuss a certain character flaw of mine that tends to rear its ugly head, namely my fear of abandonment. One of the things he said to me was that maybe the reason things always end up the same way (myself being left behind) is because I unintentionally let that fear drive me to give up on people too easily. (Well, he didn't word it quite that nicely, but I understood what he was saying all the same. :-P )
Tonight I was alone in the apartment, so it was kind of a Heather gets to chill with Heather night. While getting some work done, I decided to finally watch the movie Someone Like You (starring Hugh Jackman, Ashley Judd and Greg Kinnear), which I've owned for about a month, but had never really seen before. Imagine my surprise when towards the end of the movie Eddie (Hugh Jackman) sits down with Jane (Ashley Judd) and has a conversation that was very similar to the one I had with Brendon barely 7 hours earlier. It's kind of like getting hit in the face with a frying pan, then realizing that the reason you got hit in the first place was because you walked right into the stupid thing.
So my initial reaction to the movie was, "I want a Hugh Jackman!!!!" But then I got serious.
The one thing I've come to a conclusion about with movies (and have learned to dislike) is that problems are solved too easily. Eddie sat down with Jane and called her out on her bullshit, and then of course she has this grand epiphany, goes chasing after the man who showed her the way and in the end they live happily ever after, all in the matter of 24 hours.
In real life things don't get solved in 24 hours. People don't have a complete personality overhaul, thus eliminating one of their greatest character flaws in 24 hours. It's just not that easy to change who you are. I know. I've been working on it for awhile.
I know that I can be a better person. I've been that way: Let go of all the things that at this point weigh me down, and just was this fabulously wonderful, adorable, lovable me. But then time and stress and fatigue settle in, and human nature leads me to fall back into that state of self-conscious, self-loathing, inaccesible, constantly complaining and depressed me-ness that I was trying to overcome in the first place. Old habits die hard, and when all of your effort goes into another project, you forget to devote time to bettering yourself, not for another person, to win affection or satisfy some hell-bent vengence, but to just be happy.
My ending won't be like the movie's. I'm not going to have this revelation on national television, win the affection of the male counterpart, and then chase him down the street to end happily ever after in his arms. Real life doesn't work that way. The hopeless romantic in me says that it can be that way, and I'm not above really believing that somewhere in the world someone who deserves it is getting that happy ending, but the cynical realist I've learned to be tells me that the only way I'll get my "happily ever after" is if I just let myself be happy and then wait for the rest to fall into place.
Maybe I've been burned by the opposite sex enough times to make me bitter towards the male population 20 times over, but it's not going to stop me from falling again and again and again and again. Sure, I fall flat on my face more often than not, but can't I believe that one of these days someone is going to be there to catch me when I trip head-over-heels? Maybe that breath-taking-heart-pounding-warm-fuzzies-make-the-world-jealous-of-what-we-have-time-or-distance-can't-part-us-go-to-the-edge-of-the-earth-for-you kind of love is one chance in a million, and maybe most of the world will have to settle for that down-to-earth, comfortable, safe, we're-happy-together-and-don't-need-all-of-that-movie-magic kind of love, but I guess that makes the rarity of the former something greater to be appreciated. If you really find it, you've really got something, don't you? It's there waiting for the few who truly believe in it to stumble upon, like a four-leaf clover in a field of shamrocks.
One of the points made in the movie I did like, however, was when Eddie was consoling Jane after she finally completely broke down over Ray. He told her that it hurts when things like that happen, but we have to learn to let it go because, as hard to believe as it is, someday we'll find it again in someone new.
And, you know, he's right.
I was having a conversation with my friend Brendon today and we began to discuss a certain character flaw of mine that tends to rear its ugly head, namely my fear of abandonment. One of the things he said to me was that maybe the reason things always end up the same way (myself being left behind) is because I unintentionally let that fear drive me to give up on people too easily. (Well, he didn't word it quite that nicely, but I understood what he was saying all the same. :-P )
Tonight I was alone in the apartment, so it was kind of a Heather gets to chill with Heather night. While getting some work done, I decided to finally watch the movie Someone Like You (starring Hugh Jackman, Ashley Judd and Greg Kinnear), which I've owned for about a month, but had never really seen before. Imagine my surprise when towards the end of the movie Eddie (Hugh Jackman) sits down with Jane (Ashley Judd) and has a conversation that was very similar to the one I had with Brendon barely 7 hours earlier. It's kind of like getting hit in the face with a frying pan, then realizing that the reason you got hit in the first place was because you walked right into the stupid thing.
So my initial reaction to the movie was, "I want a Hugh Jackman!!!!" But then I got serious.
The one thing I've come to a conclusion about with movies (and have learned to dislike) is that problems are solved too easily. Eddie sat down with Jane and called her out on her bullshit, and then of course she has this grand epiphany, goes chasing after the man who showed her the way and in the end they live happily ever after, all in the matter of 24 hours.
In real life things don't get solved in 24 hours. People don't have a complete personality overhaul, thus eliminating one of their greatest character flaws in 24 hours. It's just not that easy to change who you are. I know. I've been working on it for awhile.
I know that I can be a better person. I've been that way: Let go of all the things that at this point weigh me down, and just was this fabulously wonderful, adorable, lovable me. But then time and stress and fatigue settle in, and human nature leads me to fall back into that state of self-conscious, self-loathing, inaccesible, constantly complaining and depressed me-ness that I was trying to overcome in the first place. Old habits die hard, and when all of your effort goes into another project, you forget to devote time to bettering yourself, not for another person, to win affection or satisfy some hell-bent vengence, but to just be happy.
My ending won't be like the movie's. I'm not going to have this revelation on national television, win the affection of the male counterpart, and then chase him down the street to end happily ever after in his arms. Real life doesn't work that way. The hopeless romantic in me says that it can be that way, and I'm not above really believing that somewhere in the world someone who deserves it is getting that happy ending, but the cynical realist I've learned to be tells me that the only way I'll get my "happily ever after" is if I just let myself be happy and then wait for the rest to fall into place.
Maybe I've been burned by the opposite sex enough times to make me bitter towards the male population 20 times over, but it's not going to stop me from falling again and again and again and again. Sure, I fall flat on my face more often than not, but can't I believe that one of these days someone is going to be there to catch me when I trip head-over-heels? Maybe that breath-taking-heart-pounding-warm-fuzzies-make-the-world-jealous-of-what-we-have-time-or-distance-can't-part-us-go-to-the-edge-of-the-earth-for-you kind of love is one chance in a million, and maybe most of the world will have to settle for that down-to-earth, comfortable, safe, we're-happy-together-and-don't-need-all-of-that-movie-magic kind of love, but I guess that makes the rarity of the former something greater to be appreciated. If you really find it, you've really got something, don't you? It's there waiting for the few who truly believe in it to stumble upon, like a four-leaf clover in a field of shamrocks.
One of the points made in the movie I did like, however, was when Eddie was consoling Jane after she finally completely broke down over Ray. He told her that it hurts when things like that happen, but we have to learn to let it go because, as hard to believe as it is, someday we'll find it again in someone new.
And, you know, he's right.
posted by ~Nightinga£e~ | 10:49 PM
|
0 comments
